Days are filled with anxiety
I can’t do well with new people surrounding me
Constant thoughts of are they judging me ?
Judging the fact that I can’t speak in Hindi.
Or that sometimes I sound too rude without me trying.
Or that sometimes I can’t continue the conversation without lying.
Just to be accepted by those surrounding me so that I won’t have to stand alone all lonely.
College isn’t supposed to be this hard.
I’m not supposed to sound like a patient in a depressed ward.
It’s so bad that I can hardly sleep. Nightmares filled with people jeering at me. Questioning fashion choices or beliefs.
Why is society so hard to please ?
I know this seems like a first world problem to you, but I’ve never been more anxious and that’s the truth.
New people frighten me. I think I’ve made that quite clear. But here’s the plot twist.
Nobody here sees that fright inside me because I put out a front of confidence and fake the lack of anxiety.
So how does one get help for a problem no one else can see.
Well that’s the solution I’m trying to seek.
Usually my poems aren’t true. They are based on the rhyming scheme. If a character has to die for the rhyming scheme, the character will die. This is the first time every single sentence in the poem is true. Every single one. I hope you like it. It’s not my best, I agree. But after all, it’s a problem and I’m glad I let it out of me.